Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Statistics of Infidelity

Statistics of infidelity can give us some insight into the current reality of relationships in our culture. Knowing exactly what is likely to happen empowers us all to make better decisions and, at the very least, helps prepare us for what we know might well come our way. Most people who find out the hard way that their spouse has cheated, suffer from an extended period of shock and pain. It was completely unexpected. This article aims to present the facts as they are, not to make you distrust everyone, but to give you the awareness to make good judgments.

Let's get the big ones out of the way first. Are you ready? 57% of men and 54% of women have admitted to infidelity in a relationship in the past, and 41% of marriages suffer the effects of either emotional or sexual infidelity. That makes over half of the population cheaters! Now, before you start thinking that no one can be trusted, consider that there are usually a lot of factors at play when a partner makes the decision to cheat. It is not a predetermined inevitability. And, the factors are very different for women than they are for men. But you should know that it is a phenomenon that happens in pandemic proportions in our society.

31% of couples stay together after an affair. That leaves the staggering majority of relationships affected by infidelity broken. And 17% of all divorce filings in this country are initiated because of infidelity. These are important statistics to pay attention to if you're trying to decide whether or not to stay with your cheating spouse. It obviously takes a lot of work on both sides and, the understatement of all time might be that affairs are extremely hard for couples to overcome. Still, it can be done.

Statistics of Infidelity

What about statistics of infidelity for men and women individually? The surprising fact is that women cheat as much as men, yet for different reasons. Women usually engage in an affair to satisfy their need for an emotional bond, to find someone who really understands who they are. Interestingly, affairs started by women usually last 3 times longer than affairs started by men. Studies show that men overwhelmingly engage in affairs for sex. It's surprising then to learn that the average length of an affair is two years and around 40% of them last more than 2 years. Given that most male initiated affairs are relatively short, that means there are a lot of women who have long extramarital relationships.

What about the workplace? Well, 36% of both men and women have affairs with a co - worker. 36%, again of both men and women, admit infidelity while on business trips. Surveys show that 66% of women and 75% of men say that they have sexual thoughts or fantasies about someone they work with. It's not too surprising since the normal American spends far more waking hours at work than they do spending quality time with their partners.

Extended families apparently present some opportunities for cheating also. 17% of infidelity in men and women happens with a brother/ sister-in-law.

And then there's the internet. Less than half of men surveyed believe that online affairs constitute infidelity. 75% of all people think there is nothing wrong with viewing internet porn. Over half of men and women reported flirting on the internet. 38% of men and women combined have had sexually explicit conversations on the internet and 50% of those have contacted an online chat buddy by phone. 31% of the time, online conversations lead to in person sex. The internet is obviously a huge resource for cheaters and a great place to start investigating a spouse whom you suspect of cheating.

The evidence is overwhelming. The majority of both men and women have an uncontrollable need to seek out relationships with people outside their marriages. Hopefully, knowing some of the facts will help you be more aware and proactive about your relationship and/ or help you make good decisions about what to do next if you have found yourself the victim of infidelity.

Statistics of Infidelity
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